Monday, October 8, 2012

A message to the elderly woman in the waiting area...

To you, yes you, the sweet looking elderly woman sitting in the waiting area at a (not so) local Cardiology office. I saw you notice us, I saw you notice us about the same time my completely adorable, red headed freckled faced son darted across the room, toward the door that leads to the parking lot. I noticed you notice me leave the front desk where I was checking in, and try to get my son to come back with me. I saw the judgement in your eyes when I finally picked up all 60 pounds of my kicking, giggling, squirming son. I saw you glance at your husband when my other child started crying, then screaming, then he started smacking at us as we tried to comfort him. I could read your thoughts....

"If that were my child I would...." 

I wonder, if that were your child what would you do? How would you have handled the daily struggle. The struggle to do what is right, while the everyone in the world tells you that you are doing it wrong.

I know you don't know much about my children or my situation. How could you? I saw you notice the braces on my youngest sons legs. That much is visible. But, how could you know that he was born so early that the doctors gave him no hope. How could you possibly guess at the doctor appointments, surgeries, and hospitalizations he has endured.  How can I expect you to know about my six year old's Asperger's and his ADHD? How can I expect YOU, a stranger to understand, when there are those who are close to us that really don't understand. 

Those that think a good spanking would do the trick. That my child is spoiled and willful. Those that will never understand the fact that his senses are at war with themselves. That the lights buzz, and everyone is talking, and yes, that even he can "feel" your thoughts, and all he wants to do is run. Though he may be to young to understand, he can see your judgement. 

So, I am sorry for whatever situation brought you to a Cardiology office, I am sorry that you felt my children ruined your morning. I hope that one day you will understand. 

You will probably never read this post, but I hope that this post will help someone just like you. That it will make them want to understand more about children like mine, and more about what parents like me go through every day! I hope that this will make someone do a little research. Make them learn a little more about Autism, Asperger's, and sensory processing ...I can only hope! 

The extremely frazzled mother chasing a child around a waiting room, while her other child sat in a chair screaming! 

1 comment:

Rhonda Stafford said...

Ah, the ever-judgmental eyes of strangers who know more about our families than we do ourselves! They never fail to worsen a bad situation. Just came across your blog and wanted to say how much I appreciate reading your stories and insights about parenting two special needs kids. No stranger can see how strong you are and how much you do for your kids! Also, I saw your younger son has CP... if you're interested, I'd recommend checking out CP Family Network. It's full of helpful information and resources for all things cerebral palsy-related, and it's a great way to connect to the community (who are, I promise, a little more understanding than that woman from the waiting room!) Anyway, keep blogging! Best wishes to you and your family!