A message to the elderly woman in the waiting area...

To you, yes you, the sweet looking elderly woman sitting in the waiting area at a (not so) local Cardiology office. I saw you notice us, I saw you notice us about the same time my completely adorable, red headed freckled faced son darted across the room, toward the door that leads to the parking lot. I noticed you notice me leave the front desk where I was checking in, and try to get my son to come back with me. I saw the judgement in your eyes when I finally picked up all 60 pounds of my kicking, giggling, squirming son. I saw you glance at your husband when my other child started crying, then screaming, then he started smacking at us as we tried to comfort him. I could read your thoughts....

"If that were my child I would...." 

I wonder, if that were your child what would you do? How would you have handled the daily struggle. The struggle to do what is right, while the everyone in the world tells you that you are doing it wrong.

I know you don't know much about my children or my situation. How could you? I saw you notice the braces on my youngest sons legs. That much is visible. But, how could you know that he was born so early that the doctors gave him no hope. How could you possibly guess at the doctor appointments, surgeries, and hospitalizations he has endured.  How can I expect you to know about my six year old's Asperger's and his ADHD? How can I expect YOU, a stranger to understand, when there are those who are close to us that really don't understand. 

Those that think a good spanking would do the trick. That my child is spoiled and willful. Those that will never understand the fact that his senses are at war with themselves. That the lights buzz, and everyone is talking, and yes, that even he can "feel" your thoughts, and all he wants to do is run. Though he may be to young to understand, he can see your judgement. 

So, I am sorry for whatever situation brought you to a Cardiology office, I am sorry that you felt my children ruined your morning. I hope that one day you will understand. 

You will probably never read this post, but I hope that this post will help someone just like you. That it will make them want to understand more about children like mine, and more about what parents like me go through every day! I hope that this will make someone do a little research. Make them learn a little more about Autism, Asperger's, and sensory processing ...I can only hope! 

Sincerely,

The extremely frazzled mother chasing a child around a waiting room, while her other child sat in a chair screaming! 

About sensory processing...

Good morning, wow it has been a difficult one at my house. Not only do we have about $10,000 worth of wind damage to deal with, but our own little "hurricane" "A" blew through this morning. Talk about stormy, he was extremely irritable. From the moment he woke up until I walked him into the classroom. We had a MAJOR meltdown this morning. It was one of the most serious I have seen so far! I'm not sure what is making "A" so upset. Maybe it is the change in weather. Alex has sensory processing disorder this is common with children with autism but can also occur with other disorders or even by itself.

Children with SPD may be hypersensitive to touch, as infants these kids often do not like to be held or cuddled. They may be fussy during diaper changes and hate having their hair washed or brushed, they wipe kisses away, and they prefer being hugged. They dislike messy play, certain textures and they may hate wearing clothes, dislike the seams in their socks and are picky eaters. A's baby brother Elijah is like this. He was born extremely early he was not held often during his early months and when he was held it was often to receive uncomfortable or painful treatments.

Children with SPD may also be hypo sensitive to touch. These kids are considered under responsive they

• crave touch, needs to touch everything and everyone


• are not aware of being touched or bumped unless they are bumped with extreme force or intensity


• are not bothered by injuries, like cuts and bruises


• may not be aware that hands or face are dirty or feel his/her nose running


• may be self-abusive; pinching, biting, or banging his own head


• mouths objects excessively


• frequently hurts other children or pets while playing


• repeatedly touches surfaces or objects that are soothing (i.e., blanket)


• seeks out surfaces and textures that provide strong tactile feedback


• thoroughly enjoys and seeks out messy play


• craves vibrating or strong sensory input


• has a preference and craving for excessively spicy, sweet, sour, or salty foods
  

"A" seems to be more of a hypo sensitive kid, but has some hypersensitive tendencies as well. One of the things A does is play with my bangs. When he is nervous or sleepy he wants my hair, it doesn't matter where we are at, he will ask for my hair. A is also a kid that likes to wrestle, jump, and pretty much bounce off of things and people! One treatment A has been prescribed by his OT is a Sensory Diet with Heavy work Activities. Some of these activities are:

• Whole body actions involving pushing, pulling, lifting, playing, and moving


• Oral actions such as chewing, sucking, and blowing


• Use of hands for squeezing, pinching, or "fidgeting"

I have found that allowing A a small stretchy toy to fidget improves his concentration. My main concern is getting A the supports at school for his sensory needs, but that is a whole other story, and I promise to write about it soon, we have a eligibility meeting next week. I am sure it is not going to go well. So I am getting prepared!

There is so much more to understand about sensory processing, I just wrote about the two that seem to pertain to A. the most. To learn about the other aspects of SPD go here

A great book to read about Sensory Processing is "The Out -of- Sync Child" by Carol Stock Kranowitz. It is a great book for parents and teachers alike!

Update....

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. We have been so busy, my husband and I have decided to see if we can work things out, I think it will be better for the kids that way. So that means that we have moved back home, Alex is adjusting well. He is really doing good, the medications for ADHD and the Prozac for the compulsions really helps. He still has meltdowns and bad days at school, but not near as much.  I was so scared of medication but it is amazing how it can make a difference. Alex is such a bright little boy! Occasionally I will notice him retreating into his own little world and it sort of scares me a little. He has a appointment with his developmental doctor next week. The school situation is at a complete standstill and I'm pretty disgusted with it right now, so I won't say no more about that!

I am planing on taking more pics soon and will post some on here! 
Baby brothers surgery went well and he is doing great! :)